The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
