Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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