i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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