So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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