Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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