Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
