You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
