I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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