people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
