We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
