i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
