maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is Oprah even human
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
