So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
