I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
