Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
