Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
