why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
