in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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