if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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