why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize