wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
