But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize