No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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