omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
