You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
