Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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