Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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