Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
