my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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