well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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