It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
do nipples grow back?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
