so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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