I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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