break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
