somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
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you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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