my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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