took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
