put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
