His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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