I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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