i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
