we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
babies were throwing up all over the place
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
