Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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