So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
