Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
