I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
