i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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