Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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