i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
