Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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