with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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