Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
