Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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