felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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