He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just found a bag of teeth...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
