And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
