operation harelip BJ is a go
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
