i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
