do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
