So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
