it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
