Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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