my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
